Gone Simply Insane
by Evil Cat Hater
Summary: Oneshot. Remus Lupin is a simple man. He's faced difficult times, yet in the end he's always stayed the same. But what happens when something starts driving him insane? Will he ever be the simple man he was before? RLHG, AU


**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Harry Potter and Company. And please, do not try to make me out to be Rowling...I really do not want to have to go to court, for I'd prefer to watch _Law and Order _instead of actually being there.

This story is dedicated to the absolutely fantastic,

**R J Lupin's Kat**

along with,

**ShyMoonlight **and her **C2 Community, Love Doesn't Have an Age Limit**

* * *

Remus Lupin could easily be described as a simple man. 

He dressed plainly almost every day.

He ate very little everyday, exactly three meals.

He bathed quickly every morning.

He barely slept at night, exactly five hours.

He read fiction novels every weekend.

He wrote letters everyday, exactly two to Dumbledore on Wednesdays.

He did the laundry on Saturdays.

He exchanged a pleasant conversation with the grocer on Sunday for exactly two hours.

He did everything that he could to be plain, simple Remus Lupin. It was all he desired – to be normal and have a normal schedule. He could even tell you the exact minutes it took until the owl arrived with the _Daily Prophet._

He liked the schedule. It made him feel like he had more control in his life. And what he desired was to be normal.

* * *

Remus Lupin could be described as a simple man with a simple schedule – but a complicated life. 

First, it was his lycanthropy that threatened to ruin him.

He was able to live with it and continue on.

Next, it was the loss of his best friends.

He learned to accept their faith and let his life go on.

Then Nymphadora Tonks budged into his life.

He found that it was rather rude but held his tongue and let his life go on.

Fourthly, Tonks left him.

He was actually celebrating inside and absolutely thrilled that the stupid, ditzy woman thought that Shacklebolt was attractive. And, as usual, he let his life go on peacefully.

But the last thing, which had threatened to ruin him completely, was a young woman by the name of Hermione Granger.

She walked gracefully – like that of an angel – which had made his heart sigh and his hands twitch uncomfortably.

She applied too much healing lip balm to her lips.

She read the novels, which he read, to the elderly couples at St. Mungo's where she worked.

She always pulled her hair up into a bun.

She ate as little as he did.

She let the sick, elderly patients write letters to their loved ones– she herself wrote two on Wednesdays.

She collected the laundry on Saturdays for extra money.

She wore her regular uniform of a skirt, blouse, and small hat everyday.

And Remus Lupin, when he had first starting regularly going to the hospital so the Ministry could keep track of him easily and give him unnecessary examinations, noticed that she was plain, simple Hermione. He himself was plain, simple Remus.

* * *

Remus Lupin found himself putting his novels down to think about what would happen if they – the two plain, simple people – started something more than a friendly relationship. 

And he had found himself observing the young woman closely and more carefully than ever before, (which had forced an older nurse to beat him with a rolled up _Daily Prophet _to gain his attention).

If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was falling in love with her.

* * *

All of the letters Remus Lupin was writing hinted that he was going mental and something was wrong with him. 

He couldn't sleep anymore; the curse of being a man haunted him as the fantasies of his love grew and grew in desperation for the touch he craved and knew he would never get.

He didn't eat anymore.

He found himself wearing three socks and an ugly tie that Hagrid would have adored and found the daydream that she was the one dressing him wasn't going to help him as much as he thought it would.

He was beginning to frantically pace back in forth in his room until he realized that he was ruining his already unclean carpet.

He found himself looking forward to going to St. Mungo's for his routine examinations to hopefully catch a glimpse of Hermione or have her being the one to examine him.

To undress him.

To touch him.

To taste him.

To kiss him.

To love him.

_I'm going mental_, he told himself firmly. _I need to go the St. Mungo's and check myself in before this gets out of hand._

_You liar_, a Snape-like voice interrupted._ You're only saying that because she's there._

* * *

Remus Lupin found himself reading more and more romance novels. 

He found himself burning his entire collection of books on lycanthropy.

His comb found itself in the garbage for he had taken to the habit of just running his hands through his now unkempt hair.

His carpet found itself being replaced from all of his pacing.

His refrigerator found itself empty for he couldn't eat anymore.

Even his parchment, which he wrote on daily, found itself being scribbled upon with the name 'Hermione Granger' like a stupid little school boy would or with romantic stories of her and him winding up together.

It was sick – _he _was sick.

Everything was out of order – _he _was out of order.

When he looked into the mirror, he did not see himself, the one person who hadn't changed at all in a long time period of over thirty years. He only saw this person who was madly insane…and deeply in love.

* * *

Remus Lupin's fantasies were become more and more erotic to the point where he found that the only way to rid them from his mind was to write them down. 

He kept slacking off in work because he was daydreaming about that beautiful witch in the hospital he desired to just scoop up in his arms and carry away.

This, of course, led to him being fired.

After discovering his savings only left him three months to live off of it, he desperately began to search through his whole apartment for something that would give him a job. _Anything would be sufficient! _He had begged over and over in his head.

It led him to fall to the floor and cry.

He was going insane.

He was jobless.

He was a lycanthrope.

He was hopelessly in love, and the woman of his affections didn't even know he existed.

At this he let out a groan of frustration and began to roll over on the carpet repeatedly.

But he stopped after he found himself rolling all over his fantasy stories.

He looked at them blankly with his hands still cupping his cheeks. Then a brilliant idea popped into his head, causing him to smile broadly.

_That was it!_

* * *

Remus Lupin had found himself a stupid little job that would let him live for now, but his main priority was to get the novel he developed from his fantasies to become some sort of a mushy romance novel for old spinster witches. 

After he was about to declare himself bankrupt and on the verge of an emotional breakdown, the book agency declared that his novel was predicted to be one of the best-selling.

Within weeks on the market, most bookstores had already sold all of its copies.

He turned back to simple again.

He was overcome with joy.

In fact he was rejoicing that he was finally going to be able to have some money and something to do to take everything off of his mind.

The "everything", of course, was Hermione.

* * *

When he went back to the hospital for his routine examinations, Remus Lupin saw Hermione's wide smile and bright eyes. 

He then realized he was fooling himself. He wasn't _really _happy.

When he got home that evening, after the trip to the hospital, he pulled his hair out.

He kicked at every piece of furniture that he felt was taunting him.

He smashed every milk bottle he could find.

He ripped at every sweater that had a hole in it.

He shredded every piece of spare parchment he could find.

But he realized that no matter how much he tried to ignore it – no matter what he did – nothing was going to change it. He was in love – he had been – and nothing was going to be changed until he tried to do something about it.

* * *

Remus Lupin gathered up all the Gryffindor courage he could and tried desperately to box it up so it wouldn't escape him when he needed it most. 

But when he arrived at the hospital, he always found that Hermione was in his line of sight and that his courage always began to slowly evaporate from him. It was as if someone had let loose his own little Pandora's Box without his consent. And to his embarrassment, another nurse had even come up to him and asked him if he needed any medical attention because all he was doing was standing there and staring at Hermione.

_Gods I love you_ was all he could say to himself when he watched her smile and laugh graciously over some stupid joke an old man told her gratefully.

_I want to tell you._

_But I can't._

_I don't know why._

_But I can't._

* * *

One day Remus Lupin had come into the hospital to accidentally loose himself in one of the hallways. He was searching for some sign to help guide him out of the bizarre place. But instead of a sign, he found a room with Hermione sitting pleasantly in an old black leather chair and reading his novel. 

He couldn't believe it as he stood there.

His novel.

His novel.

_His _novel.

_His_ novel.

HIS novel.

He instantly ran away just as she looked up to see who was in the doorway. She shook her head and continued to read the book. She sighed every now and then at the thought of someone she adored coming along to rescue her from the hellhole she worked in.

* * *

That night Remus Lupin dreamed about Hermione. 

Oh, her luscious lips teased him, making him gasp at the sight of her doing things to him that would have Satan himself shrinking away in fear.

He woke up to find an empty room, with only the sweat tingling down his face to remind him that he had another dream.

He groaned and fell roughly back into his creaking bed. His hands covered his bloodshot eyes while he tried to register what the hell was wrong with him. He wanted to cry like a hormonal teenage girl, yet he wanted to pull his hair out in frustration.

_Goddamn it Lupin; get a grip on yourself here!_

He had all these things that had many people envious, so why wasn't he simple and plain again?

He had great friends who he could truly trust.

He had a novel that was making him richer than Cleopatra.

He had a roof over his head.

He had an education.

And he had other things, but he couldn't name them at the moment because his head hurt too much.

Reluctantly, he rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen to make himself a pot of tea. Just as the sun began to rise up, he realized that he had to sign books at Flourish and Blotts that afternoon.

He groaned out loud before deciding that he needed to get dressed before he could talk himself out of going. For one thing, he really was dreading having to face old woman giggling and gushing over him because of some bloody book.

* * *

When Remus Lupin arrived at the bookstore, there was a mob of various witches crying out his name and declaring their love for him. He had to dodge it, (but he had to first retrieve his tie from a fan girl who thought she could take it from him and think he would tolerate it). 

When he sat himself in a chair provided for him, he wondered how his life had become so chaotic and disorganized. Before people were cringing at him from reading about him in the _Daily Prophet _and now the women were obsessing over him.

For just a moment he missed being simple, old Remus.

Well, before a small, petite woman managed to squeeze into the store with the bookshop owner's help.

She approached him hesitantly at first with her brown eyes shining brightly. She clutched his book possessively between her breasts as she made her way to his lonely table filled with ink, quills, and his novel containing a handsome man and an erotic woman on the cover.

He gulped for some weird reason before he recognized her.

Hermione bloody Granger.

The woman who threatened to, and had already, changed his world around to the point where schedules were utterly pointless.

"Hello Remus," she greeted before softly placing his book, all worn out, onto the table as he glued his eyes onto it instead of her face.

"Good morning Hermione," he replied before daring himself and looking at her.

Oh, today was the day he officially labeled her as Hermione B. Granger. _Bloody_.

Goddamn bloody.

Covered in-bloody.

Filthy bloody.

Oh, so beautiful bloody.

Sweet Merlin, bloody!

Oh, he was surely going to hell because of her.

No angels like herself to protect him and peacefully float him to the top.

Only stupid bitches like the ones outside the shop to drag him to the bottom.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you'd…" she began uncomfortably as he intently watched her struggle with the right words to tell him.

"I'll sign it for you," he added, making her nod and relief spread through her worn out features.

He found that he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

_Oh, damn, she is so beautiful…_

He blushed at seeing her perplexed look for it seemed he was staring. Almost instantly, he began fumbling for a pen, making her giggle in an almost schoolgirl like manner. He finally was able to grip the pen properly and opened the book for her.

While he debated with himself on what to write, the crowd outside finally noticed her and began protesting loudly and banging on the doors.

In a rush, he wrote down his thoughts and his signature.

Just then the doors finally burst open as Hermione opened the book to read what he wrote. As the grown, mature witches began fussing about who was in line first, a bright smile lit up Hermione's face, causing him to blush and smiled broadly while flirting with the idea of ditching this bloody stupid signing books nonsense and retreat after his love.

But as one of the ladies shoved a book at him, he realized to his utter horror what he wrote down in her book.

"_You are a very talented, kind witch. I hope you've enjoyed my book immensely, because it is secretly dedicated to you. I love you._

_Remus J. Lupin…"_

* * *

The wall in Remus Lupin's apartment had a new hole in it. 

His head had made it.

It was throbbing painfully the last time he cared.

He groaned loudly as he rolled all over the floor, yet again. This time there weren't any papers for him to roll over. Recently, he had torn up most of the spare bit of parchment he owned, even though he wouldn't buy any now that he could buy loads of it.

He sprawled across the carpeted floor and looked up at the cracked, discolored ceiling.

All he could think of doing to avoid his love and his protect his already bruised ego was to not go back to St. Mungo's.

And grab all the money he could.

And get a new name.

And run away.

And never show his face to the public ever again.

But he knew that it wouldn't do him any good. He had to face his fears, didn't he?

And for some odd reason, when he turned his head a certain way, he could make out her face along the cracks. At this, he hid his face behind his hands and groaned out loud.

* * *

"I'm so screwed," Remus Lupin murmured to himself as he entered the hospital. 

And fucked.

And ruined.

And messed up.

And stupid.

And oh, there were a million more words he could think of but decided that self-loathing wasn't appropriate at a drastic time like this.

He walked to the main facility of the ward he showed up to everyday. The hospital had all 'half-breeds' report there for examinations and check-ups where all of the nurses would then lead them to a private room and do what they needed to do.

Just as he was about to check in, he heard those many words from his novel that had taken him so long to write, fearing that if Hermione ever read it, she'd figure his personal feelings for her out. It was stupid, and he knew it, but he couldn't help but panic.

"'_She was simple; so simple, in fact, that everybody was turned off by the drone of her sweet voice. I, perhaps, was reluctantly going insane for I found that she was perhaps the most charming and beautiful witch out of all of the population. She roamed drearily in my fantasies and taunted my mind to no end for I knew that a good girl like her would never partake in any of my erotic desires._

_But the thought of having her as my mate for life excited me and lighted the fire in me that no other woman had done before. _

_I knew at the moment that I was going to risk life and limb to get her into my life. She was the person on the other side of the mirror. My equal, yet my opposite. Her simplicity was perhaps one of the things that attracted me to her the most. I wanted to learn her inner circuitry, everything about her mostly…_'"

"That's so romantic!" An older witch, sitting in a makeshift rocking chair, said with a sigh.

Remus froze at seeing Hermione sitting in a chair and reading passages from his novel.

Oh, he didn't even care that she was reading it to _old _people!

Just _her _reading _his _novel made him truly explode on the inside while he could swear he heard Muggle fireworks go off somewhere nearby.

_Her _reading _his _private desires he secretly laced into the words. He could kill himself now and die a happy man with only the thought of her running throughout the depths of his mind.

_Her _reading _his _words with such a passion he knew he could never muster.

_Her _handling _his _book with a protectiveness he wished she would display for him.

Oh, just _her _being in the same room as _him!_

He was transfixed at seeing her sitting there, blushing under the gazes of the gushing old ladies and the grumpy old men.

"Remus!" Someone called, and he awoke from his thoughts to see Hermione waving at him and gesturing for him to join them. "Good afternoon! I was just reading from your novel, would you care to join us?"

He nodded without evening knowing it and found himself walking towards her.

"You wrote this sappy book?" An old man asked him as Remus felt himself blush.

All old people had the guts to say things that normal, young people would never ask.

"Henry, it's not a sappy book, it's a beautiful work of literature," Hermione retorted with a knowing smirk and a threatening wave of her finger. "He wrote it from the depths of his soul, so I'll have none of this criticizing from you!"

"It sounds to me like you need to get shagged," the old man replied, making Remus blush even more and wonder why he was putting up with this.

_Hermione._

"That's not very polite, and it's very rude!" Hermione scolded while blushing herself.

_She's so beautiful when she blushes._

"Keep reading Hermione! Just ignore bloody Henry!" An impatient older woman cried out.

"Let our famous author read it," the old woman in the rocking chair added, making him blush and back away.

"Oh, no, no, I couldn't-," he began to protest before Hermione gave him this _look_.

His insides melted.

His brain began malfunctioning.

His scrawny knees began shaking.

His fingers began to twitch uncomfortably.

His heart began to beat rather fast and loudly within his chest.

Before he knew it, someone handed him the book, and he looked at her to see her giving him a broad smile. He gulped and looked down at the book and at the words that began jumbling before his eyes.

"'_There's nothing wrong with how I observed her. I was a male and needed some sort of pray to stalk. I was tired of the same game that threw itself at me. _

_Those other witches were the same, but she, on the other hand, was one of the best, in my honest opinion. _

_I loved her hair and her smile. She spoke with that of an angel's voice and just a hint of a true, honest goddess layered in deep within her soul. I wanted to reach out and to grab at her soul, to tangle it, to mend it, to fix it, to repair it…_'"

"Lovely, lovely, lovely!" One of the old ladies chimed in, making him smile somewhat.

"It's still sappy."

Remus could care less anymore and gladly gave Hermione her copy back. She looked ecstatic as their fingers brushed one another's, causing him to tingle all over.

But the happy moment ended when a nurse had to drag him away so he could go through his daily examinations and leave.

**

* * *

Another book signing went by, and Remus Lupin was getting quite annoyed with hearing witches gushing about how his book had increased their 'sexual drive' in the bed they shared with their husbands. He was also tired of hearing, "_I love you and your book!_" **Another book signing went by, and Remus Lupin was getting quite annoyed with hearing witches gushing about how his book had increased their 'sexual drive' in the bed they shared with their husbands. He was also tired of hearing, "" 

Did they _really _know what it was like to be plagued by love?

Didn't they know that he was already in love?

(Hermione took up most of his thinking space, he didn't need to replay pointless conversations with witches who were once frustrated with their husband's lack of romance.)

And what were they going to do with his book once they were done obsessing over it?

Remus sighed and was about to pack up and head home when a petite, young woman approached him.

"Good afternoon, Remus," Hermione greeted as he, in panic, accidentally dropped a dozen or so books off of the table. Feeling stupid, he instantly began to pick them up while mumbling to her, "Hermione…"

He looked up at her to see her get on her knees and begin to pick up the books with him.

"I thought," She said, "you'd like to go to the nearby café for a quick cuppa. Do you have time in your schedule?"

"Sure," he replied, feeling ecstatic, as his heart soared and began fluttering somewhere around his skull.

* * *

Remus Lupin felt the simple, plain man he was return to him. 

He and Hermione walked to the café she told him about while talking every now and then. The silence they shared also comforted Remus somewhat.

Never had he felt this happy.

This ecstatic.

This blissful.

This peaceful.

This cheerful.

This _complete_.

* * *

The night went on, and Remus Lupin invited her to stay at his house. She immediately agreed, making him sigh in bliss and drape a rather large arm around her petite shoulders. He had noticed she blushed at his protective actions. 

They ate whatever food he still had in his refrigerator and enjoyed it discussing things here and there.

They then spent the rest of the evening taking turns reading his novel and cuddling up on the couch. And for once he found that reading his novel with her was better than having to read it over to himself to keep boredom from knocking at his door.

He later brought her back to her own little apartment. She lived in it alone.

Just like he did.

They exchanged goodbyes, and, before he knew it, she grabbed his slumped shoulders and dragged him down so their lips met in a perfect goodbye kiss.

He ignored the fact that they held onto each other for what felt like an infinite number of minutes.

He ignored his disease.

He ignored his age.

He ignored her age.

He ignored their height difference.

He ignored the pain in his feet from her stepping on them to reach him even more.

He ignored every fan girl who would be more than likely to kill her out of jealousy.

He ignored the fact that he had secretly planned to run away out of embarrassment from confessing his feelings to her indirectly.

But one thing he couldn't ignore was the fact that they fit perfectly together like two pieces of a broken, simple puzzle.

* * *

Remus Lupin was more than happy. 

There were too many words to describe it, and at the moment he didn't have enough time to list all of the adjectives to describe his mood.

He quickly raced to Hermione and gathered her in his arms, startling her from her work.

"Remus! What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be _here!_" She cried out in mock annoyance with a large smile covering her face. He gave her a wide grin.

The old people watched and waited.

The patients watched and waited.

Even the nurses watched and waited.

Today was the day.

The day she would become his bride.

He bent down on one knee, shocking her as he took a box out from his pocket and opened it.

"Hermione Jane Granger, since I first saw you here, I was slowly beginning to go crazy. You were making me, the positively simple man, turn into a raving lunatic for quite some time.

"Deep down the simple man thanks you dearly for showing him love and would love for you to stay forever so he could learn more.

"So, Hermione Jane Granger, would you be my wife?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" She chanted almost instantly while everyone began awing.

Even the old men awed.

He instantly slipped the ring onto her finger before scooping her up into his arms and rushing her out of the hospital.

And as she showered his face in kisses while he twirled her around, he felt absolutely thrilled.

And loved.

And happy.

And cheerful.

And ecstatic.

And joyful.

And content.

And carefree.

And delighted.

And, above all, _simple_ now that he was able to carry Hermione away from the hospital.

Fuck the novel that had the sexy, desirable man getting the woman; he was the simple man and was still able to get the simple woman in the end. He didn't need to make himself different to have her like him. She liked him for who he was.

And it just so happened that she liked the simple man he was.

* * *

Oh, wow! I haven't updated with anything in a while, now have I? 

Anyway, this story was inspired by a picture of the very talented David Thewlis, looking like the simple Remus Lupin. If you're interested in seeing it, I'd be more than happy to e-mail it to you. :)

I always wanted to make a story that rebelled against the fact that poor Remus is sometimes made outto play the role as the incredible _sexgod!_Remus. And I wanted to make a story that sort of showed what our dear J.K.Rowling has to go through, only on a more non-humiliating level. (And don't get me wrong for I'm not saying that you are all a bunch of freaks obsessed with Harry Potter, because I am, too!)

The C2 community mentioned above can be found here: **h t t p / w w w . f a n f i c t i o n .n e t / c 2 / 2 4 0 3 8 / 3 / 0 / 1 /**

Please review for I love reading about all of your opinions of this story!

_(Also, this story issecretly dedicated to the person who is on my mind all the time, even now.)_


End file.
